Chapter 7: I’m Afraid of My Audience

Posted by admin on March 12th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

I had a gig last Friday and showed up to a venue packed full of people.  I didn’t expect it to be so packed, because a lot of bars in NYC require the artist to bring in their own clientele but this bar was different.  It was packed and there was no music on and Arthur and I were scheduled to start and 9 pm.

We walk onto a very small stage and set up our gear.  The packed room, all enjoying their food, conversation and beer took notice but didn’t offer any sign that live music would be welcomed in any way.

We began our set playing a song that most people would know; a cover of Human by the Killers.  We do our version slow and bluesy, not like the original.  I could feel that most of the room was not unhappy with the added sound, some were indeed quite happy, and a couple did give me the “I wish you hadn’t showed up here” stare.

I knew that my job was to convert the strangers in the room who had never heard me before into fans by connecting with them on an emotional level; by creating moments in the music that would help them feel something deep or profound and make them want to hear me again.  I might have done this with a couple people, but in truth I found it very hard to emotionally connect because of my own fearfulness.  Again, I was reminded how much work I need to do as a performer.

I’ve spent the last 10 years becoming a guitar player, a songwriter and singer, but haven’t focused on what it takes to be an exceptional performer because I thought they were the same thing.  The are not. As soon as I step on stage and am present to other people all that other stuff goes out the window.  I know that what will connect with others is vulnerability, passion, and heartfelt storytelling and yet those are the things that scare me most.  Being vulnerable for strangers, giving them my heart and showing them my passion? It’s my gift to give them, and yet I surprise myself by how scared I am to give it.

So my first step to fixing this problem is I invested some money into a 7 DVD set by Tom Jackson, a world famous performance coach.  I’m very excited to see what I learn from him and will dive in head first.  I will not be the same performer a month or two  from now.  I am a fast learner and I practice my ass off everyday so a month or two from now I will melt your face off.

In other news, the PR company I’m working with helped me come up with a “15 second” pitch to descibe my music.  The point is to be able to give strangers a glimpse into the world of my music in 15 seconds or less that helps them understand it, and also intrigues them enough to want to listen more.

We came up with “Fiercely Playful Soul.”

You like it?

Chapter 4: “It’s Time to Grow Up”: Compromise Is a Beautiful Thing

Posted by admin on March 2nd, 2010 | 2 Comments »

My friend Arthur said this to me yesterday.  Not the “it’s time to grow up part,” I put that in there myself,  but the “compromise is a beautiful thing” part.  He was referring to a general mentality that I’ve had towards music, probably for the past 7 years, which is that I should not only be able to do “everything,”  but that I also should do everything if I am going to keep peoples interest.

What I mean by “everything” is that, in some way, I have believed that my music should have enough of each genre: rock, folk, country, R&B, jazz, easy listenting etc. to please most people.  I hear an amazing folk song, so I need to either write a similar song or cover that song, I hear Beyonce sing “Halo,” and I know that it’s a really hot song right now so I need to do a cover of it.  I hear from a friend that I need to check out a song he loves, and I know that he is coming to my next show, so I need to cover that song. I see somebody play some awesome rockabilly solo on the guitar and I have to go practice it, and find some way to intergrate a rockabilly guitar solo into my set list.

It’s always been “the next best thing” with me.  My mentality has always been this stoner-hippy mentality of “mistakes are okay, it’s all music man…, it’s about the energy” and I’ve believed it so much that I even convinced myself that if I was truly a great artist, I should be able to do all this stuff on the fly; that I should be able to write out a setlist 5 minutes before a set time, and just get on stage and wing it and “flow with the energy” and deliever a great show. I even convinced myself that if I didn’t play my songs differently every night, with new songs and covers added to each new show in addition to my old songs being played different, that I would lose fans, and that people, including the musicians who played with me, would get bored.

The results have always been a ton of shit, mixed in with one to three great magical moments per show, (that probably are only as magical as they sound because they are sandwiched next to a bunch of shit.)  My friends usually gives me the same feedback as well: “Zach, you are so ridiculously talented but you need to get clear on who you are!” In other words, I can’t go from playing my original songs, to a jazz arragment of a lady gaga song, to a rock and roll scatting version of an old jazz standard, to an old American spiritual about Jesus and expect that people will either get it, that it will be any good, or that even if it is good…that anybody should give a flying fuck in the first place!

My mentality has been that of a narcissist protecting his insecurity.  By being afraid of not pleasing people, I’ve tried to please everybody and in turn, have ended up pleasing nobody.

My next post will be about how I am replacing this old mentality with a new, more empowering one.

Stay tuned…