This One’s For The Ladies… (Stay Away From Cosmo Ladies…)

Posted by admin on June 16th, 2009 | No Comments »

At some point during their four years at Middlebury College, statistically, 1 in every 2 women that I went to college with battled with anorexia, bulimia or some other form of eating disorder.  1 in every 2.  ONE in every TWO woman…50% of woman who I went to college with at some point, battled with eating disorders.

Who is to blame for this astoundingly depressing statistic?

Cosmo fucking magazine.  We are all so quick to blame a girls upbringing, her parents, institutions etc for the reasons why somebody might have body issues, but let us also point our fingers also at organizations like Cosmopolitan Magazine:  a magazine that condones self-expression and self-empowerment and instead promotes the efficacy of masking ones true self, true feelings, true emotions and true desires based upon some bastardized and distorted concept of how to be a woman in the world.   The sad thing is that this bastardized Cosmo-concept of womanhood is largely based upon  an equally distorted and ephemeral view of men.  Ladies…, just for the record, Cosmopolitan magazine does NOT know ANYTHING about men.  PLEASE believe me.  Cosmo magazine is the silent perpetrator, the true killer of woman, the devil in disguise…and the scary thing is that 78% of woman in America read their trashy dissertations.

Now, before I delve into some details, don’t get me wrong…everybody has a right to indulge in some trashy entertainment.  Soap operas, sports illustrated, the Bachelor, Playboy, even American idol etc. etc. are all forms of male and female oriented “trashy” entertainment.  However, when a magazine positions itself as an authority on issues of body, sex and relationships…and in turn promotes extremely unhealthy and harmful ways of taking on these areas of life…the organization should be burnt to the ground with all of it’s members safely outside of the building (so nobody gets hurt) but still, forced to watch it burn in flames.

After spending some time perusing their website and reading an issue or two, the general Cosmo-view of how to be a woman in the world is to largely hide your “imperfections” and present yourself in a sellable, pretty package (stick thin and blemish-less) so that you will be able to attract a man.  Men, according to Cosmo are for the most part all liars, only interested in sex, are turned off by your vulnerability and insecurities, aloof, unemotional and have no integrity.  Now, a lot of men ARE indeed like this and these kinds of men, as any self respecting woman knows are not worth anybodies time.  However, not only does Cosmo promote and direct woman in how to “catch” a man like this, but they also promote hiding ones personality in order to appeal to some cosmo-idea of what men actually want.  In addition to this, they don’t seem to understand that there are men out there in the world that have all the qualities of a “mans man” but who can still talk about emotional things and dare I say…welcome your vulnerability and yes, fall more in love with you as you reveal the beauty that you really are…both inside, and outside.

Here is an example…taken from their “advice archives on their website”

My boyfriend has one female friend. They’re really close, they hang out by themselves, he never asks me to join them, and oh, yeah — she’s gorgeous. Is he going to cheat on me with her?

Ah, the age-old question: Can a man be friends with a woman he finds attractive? As a guy with a few hot friends myself, I’ll admit, I’ve definitely thought about fooling around with them. And the hotter the friend, the greater the temptation.

Still, you shouldn’t assume your guy is going to cheat just because he spends time alone with this girl. The fact that he never asks you to join them could just mean that he likes to talk to her about things he couldn’t talk about in front of you — namely, you and your relationship. And assuming the friend isn’t an evil skank, chances are, she has your back in those conversations and advises him on how to make you happy.

But sure, there’s a chance he will be or already has been unfaithful. You just need to trust that he’s not, and in order to do that, you need to get to know the girl. Since your guy isn’t making that happen — that’s an insensitive mistake on his part — suggest that he invite her along next time you’re hanging out in a group setting. Say something like “A bunch of us are going to this bar later on, and you should bring so-and-so — I’d love to meet her.” Don’t put any pressure on him or come across as suspicious. Then, when you see them together, let your woman’s intuition guide you. You’ll know if something’s fishy.”

Anybody see something wrong with this piece of “advice.”

How about instead of planning a big dramatic scenario of secretly spying on how your boyfriend behaves with some female friend of his while you guys all drink together at a bar…you just ASK HIM?  I know it’s a novel concept–open and honest communication, but it is one of the secrets to a happy and healthy relationship…DUH.  However, according to Cosmo, men don’t like it when woman communicate about their feelings.  It’s not “sexy.”  You come off as “pathetic.”  But for some strange reason, you aren’t pathetic when you strategically set up a drama as suggested above????  You aren’t pathetic when you are too much of a coward to simply open your mouth and “ASK.”

Another thing they also forgot to mention… If your boyfriend is spending a ton of time with another woman, talks about your relationship with her and doesn’t want you around the two of them…THAT’S WEIRD and you should ask him about it.  You guys should talk about your relationship, TOGETHER and if he thinks it’s weird, if he can’t handle your honesty, or your insecurities or jealousy…then he is a fucking pussy and you should dump his ass and go find yourself a real man.

To be honest, I could go on and on about the rage I feel towards a magazine like Cosmo.  Sadly, the advice and lifestyle that this magazine promotes turns woman pathetic.  Disembodied.  Unaware of their power within.  Unaware of the existence of great men and refusing to settle for less.  Living from lack as apposed to inner abundance.  This kind of lifestyle is the birth of deep fear, the kind of fear that breeds eating disorders, body image problems, lack of self love and confidence…lack of seeing who you really are.  In short…stay away from Cosmo ladies.

Whoever the GrooGrux King is…I Am Happy With What He’s Done To Dave Matthews Band

Posted by admin on June 9th, 2009 | 4 Comments »

Whoever the GrooGrux king is…I am grateful to him.   When I was 14 years old, just sprouting arm pit hair, and just realizing that music was better than

video games and the best coping mechanism for pre-pubescent blues and rebelling against my parents I could find, Dave Matthews Band litterally lived in my head.  They were the greatest; the apotheosis of music and I couldn’t understand how anybody could listen to anything else. 

Then, I think as a result of  only slight maturity, my awareness exapanded and my ears welcomed things non-”dave” as I used to call him in my early teenage infancy.  However, this is not to say that my heart was not largely broken at the release of “Everyday.”  Even though I did enjoy some songs on that record, my love of “Dave” dwindled and roped out into almost an active detest for their music…and then pretty much forgot about them all together. 

I listed to a track or two off their record “Stand Up” when it came out and pretty much decided then that they had had it…past their prime and had lost whatever magic they had had years ago…or even second guessed their magic and thought that maybe it was more a result of my place in life rather than their place in music. 

Their new record, “Big Whiskey and the Groo Grux King” proved me wrong on both fronts I am happy to say.  I saw on itunes that they were releasing a new record and, after reading the stellar reviews, figured that I could stand to waste 10 bucks on my first favorite band.  Truth is…I think the CD is freakin’ amazing. 

Everybody, including myself complained about their change of sound when they came out with “Everyday.”  My hatred for that record was marked by a belief that when you have something good…why change it?  However, as I expanded my knowledge of art and music, I realized that I didn’t hate the record cause it was “different,” I hated it cause it was bad.  There is a clear difference between good change and bad change.  ALL great artists change their direction, their approach, their sound or image.  The mark of a great and timeless artist is their ability to in some form or another, touch upon and mirror something universal, something “true” so to speak, about what makes life…life.  Perhaps one of the greatest truths about life is change.  A cliche, but none-the-less change in motion is at the heart of life, and a great artist has to, for the survival of his craft, flow with the motion of life…despite what people think.  The mark of a great artist is to honor change…and continue growing and getting better…not in the sense of “better than before” but just better at making art.  “Everyday” was in my opinion, bad change…this new record…is great change.

It’s funky, it’s edgy, and like a lot of DMB’s music, has an uplifting quality spawned from much darker roots.  It’s electric…literally, with heavy guitars, and figuratively in tonality.  Carter Beauford really shines on this album as well, always dancing around the “one” and flaunting his capacity to make odd meters sound anything but. 

From a songwriters perspective, I feel that this record really walks the line of an art/pop record and maybe that’s why I love it so much.  There is a lot on this record that is “out” so to speak.  Not in the jazz sense of “out” but “out” in an a-melodic sense.  So much seems to be driven by a freedom of emotion as opposed to a linear songwriting approach.  And at other times, you are humming the hook as if it were written by a top 40 songwriter.  This is one of the reasons however why I think the record is so damn good and if you like music…you will at least appreciate where this album is coming from.