Chapter 3: “I Wanted to See You Smile”

Posted by admin on February 26th, 2010 | No Comments »

“I wanted to see you smile.”

That’s what my friend said to me after my gig this past Wednesday.  It was my first gig in a couple months and I was nervous for a number of reasons, and apparently I didn’t smile onstage.

Here is why I was nervous:

1) It was my first gig with my new friend Arthur, a truly remarkable bassist and music business veteran.  He said to me before the gig that we had not rehearsed enough (we had played together twice) and suggested I play the stint solo so that we could have more time to practice before getting in front of an audience.  I asked him to play anyway, saying it would be fun, loose and casual.  He is a nice guy so he acquiesced even though he knew that it would be sub-par.  He was right.  In my next post I will discuss what I learned regarding my attitude to things being “fun, loose and casual,” but more on that later.

2) I was nervous because the venue, a college dive-bar in the west village booked me on the basis that I would bring 15 people to the gig because they didn’t have a built in crowd.  Give or take, I had around that many people confirm with me beforehand, and almost all of them canceled last minute.  Showing up “empty handed” so to speak was relatively embarrassing and added to my anxiety.

So why didn’t I smile? My friend said he wanted to see me smile, he wanted to feel me more and that the few times I got into it were the best parts of the show.  I was playing music, my favorite thing to do on the planet and I didn’t allow myself to open up because I had convinced myself that in order to protect myself from “looking bad” or “being embarrassed”  by the small turnout, I had to just “play it cool.”  The bullshit I made up in my head was that if I was to really get into it for an audience of just 5 people at a dirty bar then I would look like a loser, AND I would make my 5 friends uncomfortable.  In reality, I deprived my true gifts from the people who wanted to come to see me at my best and missed an opportunity to show the strangers that were there how truly powerful my music can be, like it or not.

In the war against my Ego and my Highest Self, unfortunately my sheepish ego got the best of me this time.  This won’t last for long though.  I promise.

Zach

Chapter 2: Guidelines

Posted by admin on February 23rd, 2010 | No Comments »

In my first post I spoke about the premise of my blog and my vision: to become a world renowned musician and motivational speaker set out to prove that anything can be accomplished with a clear and powerful vision, an unwavering belief in oneself and a shit load of hard work.  This blog will function as a transparent, happening in “real time” platform for me to share all the steps I’m taking to proving this theory correct and fulfilling on my vision.

Here are the general guidelines and what you can expect from me in terms of this blog:

-I will write a post every Tuesday and Friday of each week.    My posts will not be no more than around 500 words (my last one was 511 words, this one 481 words.)

-I will update and share with my readers any steps I’m taking towards fulfilling on my vision, including physical steps like sending my press kits out to venues and licensing companies, as well as metaphysical steps like “manifesting” and the power of using my mind to visualize my goals.

-Practicing my craft hours and hours everyday is a given and I will not be blogging much about my practice or rehearsal schedule, unless of course somebody requests it.  Mostly, as I said before,  I will be blogging about the physical marketing and business steps I am taking, as well as the metaphysical steps I am taking towards bringing my vision to life.

-Lastly I will be blogging about my performances.  What I felt during them, and how I feel I could make them better/steps I’m taking to make them better.

-Sometimes I will post more than twice a week, or write more than 500 words.  These will be exceptions and will only be used to communicate something out of the ordinary or of great importance to move the story along.

I had a comment on my first post that said it would be helpful to give myself a “deadline” for when this goal would be reached, both to aid in the development of the story as well as light a fire under my ass.  My intention is 2 years, but my deadline is 5 years.  I will be writing about it from the standpoint of my intention…2 years.

2 years would mean that not only would I have to work my ass off, but also that I would have to use my “6th sense” so to speak.  In order for me to become world renowned in just 2 years, a quantum leap would have to occur which could only happen if I exercised not only hard work, but also the spiritual domain of synchronicity, imagination, faith and the power of belief.  2 years is only possible by having unwavering faith in the certainty that my vision will come to fruition, even though I don’t know the “how” of it all.

2 years is my goal and intention.

Stay tuned.