Moab Utah, Oceans in Colorado, and Aliens from Zuron

Posted by admin on May 1st, 2009 | 7 Comments »

Last saturday my girlfriend, my dog and I ventured into the Moab desert in Utah to check out some of the sweet sandstone formations.  Apparently, according to the information that we received upon entering the “Arches National Park” these incredible rock formations were formed when an ocean used to live on top of Colorado and Utah, and as a result of the ocean evaporating, and fault lines merging, rain and snow carving, and sand and salt not getting along so well, these amazing sandstone formations were formed and are continuing to be molded, shaped and carved over the years.  

Personally, I think that every night, when the national park closes, and the park rangers go home, a select breed of sandstone carving aliens from the planet “Zuron” arrive in their space ships and set up for their daily art class…using the sandstone as clay for their artistic endeavors.  

I know I sound sarcastic, but this is actually how the Moab Desert was REALLY formed.  

I mean…come on…an OCEAN on top of COLORADO?

In all seriousness, most likely an ocean did live on top of Colorado and begin the chain of events that led to these amazing rock formations, but my point is not about geology…or archiology…(whatever field studies rocks.) 

Human beings are the only species, (that we know of) that give two shits about understanding “Why”.  Only humans ask the question “why” or “how” did that rock fall on top of that rock and look like only God could have placed it so mysteriously and purposely.  And I know that some of the reason is because of the fact that we are “conscious” and have “brains” we want to “know” and “understand” things…and that’s great.  I mean if it wasn’t for our desire to understand “why” or “how” then we would most likely be WAY behind as a society in regards to most of the luxuries we experience today…i.e., medicine, science, technology, entertainment, internet, blogs, home cooking appliances etc. etc. etc. 

But I also think that this impulse to want to know “why” and want to understand everything comes from the fact that we are terrified of dying…

We are so terrified of not understanding something, of being awed in mystery, that our immediate desire when we see something we don’t understand is to try to figure out how to understand it.  The first thing I said while driving through the Moab desert was “how the fuck did this stuff happen?”  To sit in mystery is so foreign and uncomfortable to most because it either subconsciously or consciously reminds us of the fact that we are going to die and that life itself is an utter and complete mystery, whether we want to believe it or not.  

What is responsible for beating my heart right now?  A doctor could tell me how my heart beats and why it beats and the muscles that make it beat but a doctor can NEVER tell me the ultimate mystery of what Life Force, and why that Life Force is beating my heart.

Human beings will never really “know” anything actually.  And it is our height of folly and arrogance to think that we ever will.  All we can know, and all we think we can understand is only through the eyes of our human window, our patterned experience and our narrow interpretation of the world.  We will never see the world through a Grizzly Bears eyes and nor should we ever pretend that we can.  

There is ONLY mystery…always and forever.  It’s the primal reality. There is only the free fall of this unknown moment…everything arising spontaneously and without volition even when we think that we know exactly what’s going to happen, or exactly what’s we’re going to say.  

We have no choice but to be driven to understand “why” or “how”…it’s a human habit and a human disposition that results in the furtherment and betterment of society (or sometimes the destruction of our natural world) but let us NEVER, for one minute, EVER believe that we ACTUALLY understand anything…or even come close to understanding…the incomprehensible, the unfathomable, the inexplainable, massive vastness that is this inherent mystery called Life.  

…And that is why I believe Aliens built the Moab Desert.

Opinions and The Creative Process…

Posted by admin on April 16th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Last saturday I plugged in an old external hard drive and found 2.2 hours of old recordings of songs, song ideas, lyrics etc on my computer from a long time ago.  I eagerly cleared my schedule for the evening and uploaded the entire 2 hour playlist on my ipod thinking that there had to be some gold to find.  I then spent the next two hours being incredibly humbled by how truly terrible I was…how off pitch my voice was…how bad my songs were and I couldn’t get over the fact that at that time in my life…I actually might have considered what I was doing to be good/presentable to other people.  

I listened to a song that I remembered playing for my music class about a girl who had large breasts.  The song was intended to be a joke about how men will do anything for a girl that has a nice rack, and I arranged the song in a mixed time signature of rotating bars of 6/8 and 9/8 thinking that I was indeed, the most clever person on the face of the planet.  Not only was I making a humorous societal reference and commentary on the ridiculousness of men and our fascination with large breasts, but I was also doing so in a complex arrangement of mixed measures and odd meters.  Man was I clever in my mind…

However, when I listened to it the other day…not only could I not help myself from laughing at how truly awful the song was…the lyrics were and my voice was (not to mention out of tune) but also at how difficult it was to follow because the meter kept changing.  In fact, it didn’t sound like the meter kept changing…it sounded like I couldn’t play and sing at the same time and thus, was having trouble holding a steady rhythm. 

And I got me thinking about my “opinions.”  My very “intense” and “important” opinions about things…life, music, quality of art, people etc…and how fast and hard I hold onto them. It also got me thinking about others opinions…and how people, not all people, but A LOT of people totally FREAK out when their opinions about things are challenged.  Have you ever been in a conversation or around a conversation where somebody’s opinion is being challenged as “wrong” and it’s like they are fighting to their death to try to defend the fact that they are actually not wrong?  Almost to the point where it feels like they are defending their life? 

Here are some examples from my own life…

-When I was 15, I was OBSESSED with Dave Matthews Band.  In fact, I ONLY listened to Dave Matthews…and pretty much refused to listen to any other music because “nothing compared” in my mind.  I learned almost every DMB song on the guitar and would spend countless time on DMB chat forums.  Anybody that didn’t like Dave Matthews was clearly a moron…

-When I was in college…Dave Matthews sucked…I hated Dave Matthews and couldn’t believe that I was ever so into him and that I went to 18 live DMB shows.  I used to make fun of people who liked Dave Matthews and who would cover Dave Matthews songs…

-When I was in college…John Mayer couldn’t have been more of a cheese ball

-Now, I love John Mayer…and Dave Matthews.  Now I think they are both amazing.  

-When I was a sophomore in college, the only music that was really “good” was either free jazz, be-bop jazz, modal jazz, mozart, avant gaurde or phish.  Anything that was “in” was lame in my book, and anything that was “out” was not only the shit…but also the only kind of music that could really be “respected.”  Anybody that didn’t agree with me was a moron.  I listened to Coltrane’s “Sun Ship” a lot and the idea of writing a song under 5 minutes was a joke to me.  Everybody told me my songs were too long…I told myself they were idiots and didn’t understand good music.  

-When I was 14 years old…I hated my mother

-When I was 21 years old…I hated my father

-In my life now…I love and respect and honor my parents in a way I never thought I would.  They are so important to me and I am so grateful for all that they are and everything they have done for me.  I deeply love my parents.  

-When I was in high school…I was an avid athlete, never smoked during season and hated sissy and wimpy feminine men…and disrespected pot heads.  

-When I was 21, I hated “macho men” and wore make up and sarongs and felt like the only way to be a real man was to embrace one’s feminine side and smoke weed.  

-I never wrote love songs cause they were cheesy

-Now I hope that one day, I will write the perfect love song…

-I didn’t like to be friends with girls when I was in high school

-I didn’t really like to be friends with men my first two years of college when I was in college

-Photorealistic art was stupid after impressionism…why would anybody want to paint a photorealistic piece of art after Monet???

-Jackson Pollock was the greatest artist ever

-Matisse was the greatest artist ever

-Picasso is so over-rated

-Picasso was the greatest artist ever

-When I was 12 years old…I wore jeans the size of an elephants hoove.  I could literally stick my head in one of my pant legs…

-When I was 19 I thought people who used the word God were stupid and religious and didn’t understand anything about real spirituality or how the world really works.

-When I was 23, I would cry sometimes at the love and joy that would overflow in my heart when I heard the word God mentioned…

and on…and on…and on…

My question here and the point of this post however is how are we served by our opinions?  When I am 72 years old God willing…will my opinions about life be totally different?  The answer is obviously yes…but then why feel as if my opinions about things matter so much now?  Why hold on to them as a defining aspect or characteristic of my life…of my foundation…and more importantly…how do they serve my creative process?????

I didn’t want to write love songs…I didn’t want to write pop songs…I wanted to be like dave matthews…I wanted to write complex and “out” be-bop lines…etc. etc. etc. and WHY?  

My feeling is that my opinions about music…about what is “good” actually hinder my creative process rather than serve it.  How? 

Because what I have learned over the past year is that creativity has the most liberty to flow when there is nothing obstructing it.  Think of it like a river.  My opinions about music, about life, about what was “right” were like little mini-damns in my river.  When I release those opinions…my river flows.  Creativity is greater served from a place of empty space…so that it has room to arise…rather than from a place of preconceptions, false beliefs, and bottomless opinions.  

However…one could also play the devils advocate and say that if it weren’t for my old opinions…and my creative attempts before that didn’t work…then I wouldn’t have learned from my mistakes and be in the place that I am now…

This is also true…So my question remains slightly unanswered…

No matter what, as human beings, it is natural to have opinions about things…but as far as the creative process is concerned, when those opinions turn into judgments…we enter a more dangerous territory.   An opinion becomes a judgement when it starts to be held as something finite.  The opinions I listed above had become judgments.  

We can’t escape forming opinions…especially as artists regarding art.  However, they should be taken as seriously as the weather….present for the day, but in a constant state of change and flux.  Otherwise, we do not allow our creative to flow in the manner that it can.  

…in my opinion that is  

Comments always welcome…

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