Chapter 10: What I’m Learning from Tom Jackson

Posted by admin on March 23rd, 2010 | 1 Comment »

Tom Jackson separates the reason that we (musicians and music lovers) do music into 4 “M’s.”

The Music       The Message       The Money       The Me

I’m going to talk about the “Me” because I’ve always had an issue with the “me.” A part of me has always felt like it’s self indulgent to be a musician or an artist. Like “who am I to think that I can/should/deserve to do this?” Anybody else ever feel like that?

Well, what Tom said is that the “me” could either one of two things. The first “me” is the “ME…” the look at “ME.” The “ME is performing so clap for ME.” We all hate this “me,” and this is not the “me” that he speaks about. The “me” that he speaks about is the “me” that has always known, that has always felt that I am here to do this…that my love for music is so deep it must be my calling and in order to honor the gifts that I was given by the Universe, or God if you don’t have a problem with that word, then I have to DO SOMETHING about it!

I used to think that I was selfish for thinking that I could be a world-renowned musician because I thought that everybody’s dream was to be some kind of performer if they really could choose anything. Wrong.

When lived in Colorado, I met a guy who told me his dream in life was to climb the 7 highest peaks in the world, and that he had already tackled 4 of them, K2 included. I thought about the fact that this dream was the apotheosis of what he thought was dream worthy…his ultimate goal in life, to climb all 7 peaks.

Now, I would never want to do that. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in mountain climbing. Skiing down a mountain, yes please. Climbing up a mountain. No fucking way.

My point is obvious: not everyone dreams about the same thing so maybe there’s a reason for why we have certain dreams, desires or callings in life: because that’s what we are supposed to do! We dream about it, yearn for it, desire it because we are supposed to have it!  Me! Me me me me me is supposed to be doing this because that’s what fulfills my hear the most!  And the truth is is that if I didn’t do my hearts calling, I would be cheating God so to speak, or cheating my life; turning my back on that which gives me the most fire and most fulfillment.

So thank you Tom Jackson for reminding me of “Me.”

More coming…

Chapter 7: I’m Afraid of My Audience

Posted by admin on March 12th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

I had a gig last Friday and showed up to a venue packed full of people.  I didn’t expect it to be so packed, because a lot of bars in NYC require the artist to bring in their own clientele but this bar was different.  It was packed and there was no music on and Arthur and I were scheduled to start and 9 pm.

We walk onto a very small stage and set up our gear.  The packed room, all enjoying their food, conversation and beer took notice but didn’t offer any sign that live music would be welcomed in any way.

We began our set playing a song that most people would know; a cover of Human by the Killers.  We do our version slow and bluesy, not like the original.  I could feel that most of the room was not unhappy with the added sound, some were indeed quite happy, and a couple did give me the “I wish you hadn’t showed up here” stare.

I knew that my job was to convert the strangers in the room who had never heard me before into fans by connecting with them on an emotional level; by creating moments in the music that would help them feel something deep or profound and make them want to hear me again.  I might have done this with a couple people, but in truth I found it very hard to emotionally connect because of my own fearfulness.  Again, I was reminded how much work I need to do as a performer.

I’ve spent the last 10 years becoming a guitar player, a songwriter and singer, but haven’t focused on what it takes to be an exceptional performer because I thought they were the same thing.  The are not. As soon as I step on stage and am present to other people all that other stuff goes out the window.  I know that what will connect with others is vulnerability, passion, and heartfelt storytelling and yet those are the things that scare me most.  Being vulnerable for strangers, giving them my heart and showing them my passion? It’s my gift to give them, and yet I surprise myself by how scared I am to give it.

So my first step to fixing this problem is I invested some money into a 7 DVD set by Tom Jackson, a world famous performance coach.  I’m very excited to see what I learn from him and will dive in head first.  I will not be the same performer a month or two  from now.  I am a fast learner and I practice my ass off everyday so a month or two from now I will melt your face off.

In other news, the PR company I’m working with helped me come up with a “15 second” pitch to descibe my music.  The point is to be able to give strangers a glimpse into the world of my music in 15 seconds or less that helps them understand it, and also intrigues them enough to want to listen more.

We came up with “Fiercely Playful Soul.”

You like it?