Chapter 20: My interview last night

Posted by admin on May 11th, 2010 | No Comments »

I had a great interview last night with a guy who runs a blog talk radio show called “Music on the Couch.”  Unlike a lot of interviews that I’ve been on, this one was a little more casual, and Vinny, the host, asked me some very interesting questions which got me thinking about some very interesting things.  The one question that he asked me that really stood out was about narcissism.  He had read an old post from this blog where I was talking about how I needed to give up my ego in order to give a good performance.  His questions was something like “don’t you need an ego and a sense of ‘me’ ‘me’ ‘me’ in order to get up onstage in the first place?”

It was a great question because I think it’s something that every artist needs to ask themselves.  At some point in every artists life, I actually remember the exact moment in mine, we had to have made a decision that went something like “I could do that.“  In other words, we looked at our idols, whoever they were and said to ourselves that we too, could be like them.  This is a statement that takes a tremendous amount of courage, or “me”-ness to it.

What I said last night was that that ego can only get us so far, or at least in my experience, has only gotten me so far.  It has helped me practice, use my will to get myself to a professional level and helped establish my sense of self as an artist that is destined for success and continued success.  However, as soon as I step onstage, that ego becomes a problem because once onstage, it’s no longer about me anymore.  It’s about something bigger than me.  Its about both the audience, and then something even greater than the audience. Some call it God, but whatever it is, it’s bigger than my tiny ego.  I want to disappear onstage and allow a greater creative force to live through me and I want to connect that greater force with the audience.  I want to be a vessel, a channel for something greater to move both me and the audience together in celebration.  This is the death of narcissism that I’m talking about.  In my experience, this can only happen in a humble place.

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